Jealousy...jealous me?

I think jealousy is applicable to everyone, whether you are in a vanilla relationship, Owned, an Owner, or in a poly family. Jealousy is an ugly feeling and it can be hard to identify the root of where it's coming from. It's easy to blame it on something superficial and available, like a sister or your Master or even your bad day. But jealousy is an ongoing problem, not a one time event. And by negating it to something superficial or someone else, you're just putting off a deeper problem.

Almost everyone has experienced the uncomfortable pangs of "that's not fair," or "why not me" when your Master shows attention to another, or a sister gets something you wanted. If you look back that the basic fundementals of your relationship, you're supposed to trust your Master. Shouldn't that include trusting in Him enough to know what's best for you (and your sisters if you're part of a poly family.) By submitting to Him, you're saying, I believe in You, and I trust that You'll make the best decisions for us.

So where is this feeling coming from? Jealousy, in my opinion, is connected to insecurity as well. From a submissive point of view, security is something to be worked on by both in the relationship. It's always always always your own responsibility to look after yourself, be aware of yourself and work on growing as a person, a submissive (or whatever your role in your relationship is), and how you affect those around you. If you're insecure about something, think about what makes you feel that way, and why you've redirected it into jealousy. Are you having concerns about your relationship, so that when your Master spends time with a sister you are upset? Do you feel bad about yourself when others receive praise because you're insecure about your own abilities?

It's so incredibly easy to transfer negative feelings about yourself into negative feelings about others. Jealousy won't go away with punishment, and it won't go away with more time and praise from Master. That may feed the problem. The first and most crucial thing is to recognize the truth about these feelings and where they originate from. Work on those problems and issues. There's nothing wrong with being honest with yourself and going to your Master and saying "I'm insecure." It is the responsibility of your Master to help you to the best of His abilities whether that comes in the form of exercises, journaling, meditation etc. By focusing on the root problem, you both can overcome an emotion that can tear a person, a relationship and a family apart.