My submissive Journey

Reflecting back, I can see specific patterns in my life that make more sense to me now then they ever did before. I do not like confrontation. I'm a people pleaser. Praise over a job well done is motivation for me. 9 months under my Master's collar and a year and a half since taking the first step into exploration of this lifestyle and I can finally look back and see the bigger picture.

Before I knew much of the lifestyle, the little I did know still excited me. My curiosity propelled me forward, made me search for a place where I might have a chance to learn more, find out what exactly happened within the lifestyle and figure out where I fit within it. My first day on SL, Dominus was the second Sim I visited. I TP'd in and never left. I thought, perhaps this will be the place where I can explore what drove my curiosity. Dominus was a safe place for me, to learn, grow, understand and explore my likes and dislikes. I was given tools to keep myself safe, and my curiosity grew with my education. I began to understand what it meant to serve. It was like I was handed a magnifying glass to turn self-ward and analyze until I had a complete and satisfactory answer as to why I decided upon this journey. Just "because" wouldn't cut it.

I believe that there is something that was buried deep inside of me that I have uncovered. Submission is such a gift; a gift to have and a gift to give. I worked for months and months, slowly chipping away at what drove me to kneel before I could ask myself and respond with a more comprehensive answer: why?

There's something so natural, beautiful... so right, about kneeling at Master's feet. There's a pull that runs through my body, an energy that waits for His command, constantly buzzing at the ready. My need to serve and more importantly to please Him is strong and powerful. The words "good girl" or "I'm proud of you" are words I yearn to hear. My mind craves them. My submissive heart beats for them. To know He is happy with my behavior, actions or words is food for the submissive soul. What better a reward is there then to know how much you have pleased Him? Isn't that our goal in service?

Acknowledging my submissive spirit has completed me in a way I didn't know was possible and forced me to grow as a person and as a slave. I'm more aware of who I am, my wants and needs, and the strength I possess. I strongly believe it takes a strong person to kneel at the feet of another and offer such a precious and rare gift.

I still struggle. I will always struggle. This is an ongoing learning process that will continue to kick my behind until I get it through my thick and stubborn head that no one can be perfect at anything. For every victory, every goal reached and "aha" moment had, there has or is some form of regression - be it slight or a more significant one. But I like to think that the enjoyment is in the journey my Master and I get to take part in together as we work on our bond and relationship. Most importantly, no matter what, allow the collar you wear to guide you and trust in the one who holds the leash.

Posted with the permission of Master Darius