Punishment and Discipline -- a personal veiwpoint

This essay is designed to capture my thoughts on punishment, in particular the need for/against, effectiveness and reasons for the punishment.

      I see a difference between Punishment and Discipline.. my definitions might not be everyone’s but they do work in my mind. For me the day to day little nudges back into line that a girl gets, these are discipline... the times where a girl is maybe walking that bit too close to the line and gets a look or a word... or indeed if a girl forgets a small thing and apologizes for the transgression and it is accepted that is along the line of self discipline.

     I find that punishment is a very different ballgame... for me to actually require "punishment" is a very bad thing, in my mind it means I have failed and not just failed in my task, but disappointed my Dom which is against everything I believe in or stand for. In my mentality far worse than any actual punishment, is the fact it is required, if anything the act of punishment is the closure, the wiping of the slate, the catharsis.

      So onto the reasons for and against punishment. In my mind punishment if used correctly can be a very effective teaching/training  tool but likewise if used badly can be quite damaging. A lot of issues can come up if you have a Dom who gets punishment and "fun"ishment mixed (oh your an naughty girl you must be punished, bend over my lap) and a sub/slave like me who hears the word punishment and feels like the bottom of their world has just dropped out..

     That brings me on to how I perceive punishment as it were.. .for me, the worst words I can hear is "I am disappointed in you" - when I am serving my whole world focuses on that person and to let them down is the worst feeling ever, it feels like the world is coming apart, I feel sick deep down in my belly and occasionally am physically sick, it consumes me, the feeling and the act of punishment is the way of, making up for it, setting things right, wiping the record.

     When do I believe a girl should be punished... I think that, a lot of the deciding factor in this is intent... if a girl is trying to do her best and accidentally forgets something, IE a check in, to take meds on time, then it is more the need for discipline.. a  reminder to point out that there has been an issue and  to give the girl a chance to set it in her mind. I think that punishment is more appropriate for cases of intended disobedience, willful attitude etc.... in my mind the act of punishment is taxing on both sides and not something to be used wily nilly, also if it is then it loses a lot of the impact. An example of a discipline offense would be for example, when out in public standing on my Dom's right not his left, discipline would be a gentle reminder and the behavior would then be corrected.... if for example the behavior was willfully not corrected, backchat occurred or snarkyness or downright disobedience then I think it would move to the need for punishment.

     When looking at types of punishment, I admit I seem to think differently to many... you hear people bleat "you can’t physically punish a Masochist" which I think is untrue because for me, it is all about the mindset. From experience I can say that if given 10 strokes of the cane as part of play, and 10 strokes because I am being genuinely punished then the 10 punishment strokes feel totally different.

     I do believe that if punishment is needed then a part of working out a suitable punishment is working out the reason for the crime, i.e. is it just snarkiness or is there an underlying issue that also needs to be addressed. Is the girl having a bad day or has something happened that must be looked at. The type of punishment I believe would also relate to the crime and severity. For example, overt cheekiness that crossed the line may result in the cane, whereas a more serious infraction such as willful disrespect in public might lead to loosing the right to the public connection at the next event/outing and the associated benefits  such as calling them Sir, honorific’s, habits that they like, etc.. I also think that kind of punishment needs a set start and end time so when it's done it's done.

      Regarding the types of punishments that would be productive or counterproductive, personally I see most punishments as productive - the time I think it would become counterproductive or even potentially damaging is if there is no resolution or, if the punishment is left hanging for too long. In my case I know that if I seriously transgress I am left feeling so very low, it's like the worlds ended, I struggle to do anything until it's "right" again and my slate is cleaned so when in the past I’ve had a Dom who told me I was going to be "punished" and then never got around to it, it actually did some damage to me and the relationship... I'm not talking about leaving a girl to sweat a week, 6 months later he still hadn't done it so I was in that awful hellish limbo and it turned out he'd forgotten which indicated to me that he just well... didn't care. In my mind for catharsis and resolution to be reached there needs to be...  a beginning, and an end to the punishment then when it's done, it’s over.

      Those sum up my main thoughts on punishment and at least how my mentality works.