Personality, Not Doormat....

For many of us, we learned what we were at an early age. Discovering our need to control or our desire to please at a time when we didn't even know what it was. Sensing that we were somehow different, and therefore subject to the cruelty displayed by our peers at these ages, we hid what we are. This of course leads to a submersion of personality, a hiding away of ourselves. Later, as we discover that these things we've kept hidden, don't make us freaks  or anymore unusual than the next person. But we've spent years hiding what we are, who we are. For some of us, this has led to shyness, introspection, or a host of other traits that in general say we're the wallflower in the corner doing our best to remain unnoticed. These habits that we have developed have now become ingrained, and become very difficult to break.

And so when we do find the others who share our predilections, we remain quiet, shy, overly-serious, etc... And we sit wondering why others find their matches, while very few even speak to us, not realizing that we have become our own worst enemy, the cause of our own defeat so to speak. Our potential partners want to know who we are and they can't see that through our armor. We have a person hidden away, who we really are, that's what our partners want to see. But we have a lifetime of hiding to overcome.

Now there is one other trait that this behavior has created over the years. One I call "doormat"-ism,
When subs newly come to the Lifestyle, they have a tendency to lay down and let the Dominant walk all over them. And new Dominants who allow this to happen. Both sides quickly become bored with the situation and leave the relationship unsatisfied, but unsure why it didn't work. After all, it seemed like a good match. Everything fit, didn't it?

The problem is no one likes a doormat. Either being treated like one, or treating someone like one. The Dominant sees his peers with a sub/slave who is playful and energetic and wants someone like that. The submissive sees Dominant after Dominant leave for those types of sub/slaves, the ones who have personality.

Just because you are submissive doesn't mean you have to let people walk all over you. Just because you are Dominant, you don't have to let the sub be this way.

As long as you are respectful and within the "lines" of propriety, there is no reason you can't let that hidden person out. Is it easy for those who are new to the Life? I never said that. often it is quite hard to push back years of hiding to let this inner self out, But you'll be much more content when you do. And no, letting your personality flourish, does not mean you are a brat. It's a concious desicion to let ourselves out into the open and thus it is a concious decision to keep it under rein. So that we can see and be seen for who we are without pushing the bounds of "Bratty"-ness.

The more we let out our personality, and stop being a doormat, the more Dominants will come to like and admire us. the more interested they become. We become desirable creatures to have around and Dominants naturally want to be admired. And what is more appealing to a Dominant than having a wonderful sub/slave that everyone wants to own? Being able to stand with the other Dominants and saying proudly "Yes, That's my slave." even if it's just to themselves.

So I call on you to let those hidden personalities out. As a slave, I don't want to be treated as a doormat, and look for the dominants who can let me be me. Dominants gravitate to those slaves that have personality.

P.S. Sorry, Master, for all the $6 words. that should fill up your new word quoto for the next week at least. :)