Finding Joy In Service by Kalieli Resident

At Dominus, we do a lot of classes and discussions on various topics of the M/s lifestyle. We cover everything from happiness to the foundations of a good and lasting BDSM relationship. Those are wonderful topics, and I know I speak for all of U/us here when I say that we A/all learn and grow so much through what we are taught, and it is amazing to grow with my chain sisters, and as a family.

However, I chose this topic for this blog because I wanted to cover a slightly different side of the coin, the joys of service. This not only pertains to owned slaves, but to us all, because you do not have to be owned to be a slave.  Being a slave is about who you are, not who holds your leash. For me, being a slave is the most beautiful thing next to motherhood. It was a blessing to discover this lifestyle, to find a safe place where I could learn and grow, and to watch all of the pieces of the puzzle come together as I discovered more and more about myself. I never really did fit in anywhere, and I always got that feeling that something huge was missing in my life. I was damaging myself by not recognizing what was my need to serve and please by pushing myself past boundaries I didn't know I should have, with friends and family, bosses, etc. I couldn't say no, because I wanted above all to make those I loved happy. When I came to Dominus, and saw this in others, it was like being struck by lightning, and I knew at last that I had found myself, now to begin my journey.

Being able to serve for me brings a joy that I can't begin to describe. I like to think of it as my love tank, and making others happy, keeps it full. Above all, I enjoy making Master proud of me, but it goes beyond that for me, because I enjoy taking care of others. My friends, my family, my children, E/everyone in my life gets this part of me, because it fulfills me. Now having said that, I wasn't aware of limits before Dominus, because I didn't understand anything about what I was doing, but it is unhealthy to not say no. Limits, I now realize are imperative because without them, we would literally run ourselves into the ground, perhaps even be hurt or abused, taken advantage of, slaves aren't usually so great about taking care of themselves, which is why we need to learn what our boundaries and limits are, and take the time to get to know our Owner and build that trust. Yes it is worth it! Once I discovered all of these things, and learned what I needed to do in order to serve with a healthy body, mind, and heart, a whole new wonderful world opened up for me, and I found such joy in being able to serve.

So a couple of tips from a slave who is still learning and growing.

1. Take care of yourself first! You cannot serve your Owner if you don't, and you ARE important.

2. An unowned slave is still a slave. Do not sell yourself short, your submission IS a gift, and should be treated as such.

3. It is ok to say no. I'm not saying to tell your Owner no, that might get us both in a lot of trouble, but know your limits, boundaries, and needs before you submit, and COMMUNICATE them!

4. If it doesn't feel right to submit, it probably isn't. Just because a Dominant says kneel, doesn't mean you have to, and it doesn't make you any less of a slave if you don't. Always follow your gut, and if it says run, then RUN!

I hope that you can A/all find as much joy in your journey as I have.



Posted for Kalieli Resident as approved by Master Darius.